I was looking back through my old posts and I realized just how little and how few and far between my posts usually are. And well, that just isn't me. I am a writer, I should write. I mean, I used to keep a daily pen and paper journal all throughout high school (well that was little off and on too, but I kept it up) so why can't I keep up a web journal? Don't answer that, it was rhetorical (and that was direted at myself more than anyone else).

Anyways, here I am, with a new found want and drive to post more often and with more content.....




Wow, that was fulfilling.

Ok, so my post last night was probably more than a little melodramatic and depressing, but you know what? I thought about deleting, I really did, but I decided against it. You know why? Because if I leave it there it will remind me how I get when I am alone and I drink and I write....and if that is all it takes to keep from doing it again, then I will gladly take the drunken humiliation that comes with it.

Another good thing that came out of my depressing stupor that was last night was this morning. I awoke feeling better than I have in awhile and I had a want to be productive which I don't usually have, especially in the mornings. I got up, picked up my pencils and giant art board and pads and I sketched. I drew and I drew and I drew. And it felt great. Since I have started taking art classes I haven't had the real desire to sit down and draw outside of them, where I have to sit down and draw for hours on end. But today I did, and it felt great to do it again of my own free will. Now if I only had a scanner so I could actually show it people and put it on my deviantart.


On another note, I feel as though I should be looking for somewhere new to live soon. Neither Zhani or his parents have said as much to me, but his brother just moved back from the Army and this used to be his room and I don't know how long I am going to be able to occupy it and he the couch downstairs. I mean, he is family and I am just....well, I am the guy they like enough to let live here. So, I really to get my shit together and get some money together because I don't know how long I am going to be where I am and I honestly have no clue where I would go if I wasn't here.....


Well, that is enough for one night and the guys are going to be over in about 8 hours for our weekly Star Wars game, so I need to get some sleep.

From This Side of the Monitor,
~Adam

So things have been looking up for me recently, going surprisingly well actually. Last Wednesday I performed as the Moorpark College headlining poet at the monthly Poetry Read on campus. It was by far the biggest turn out that the performance has ever received (and I like to think that it was in part inspired by me) and I did a great job during the show. The professional poet who also headlined the show said that I was amazing and that if I do a couple of open mics at some venues she performs at that I would likely get offers to headline there as well.

Also, in March I am being paid to perform poetry at a Literature Festival in Moorpark for two hours, which would mean that I would now be an officially paid performing poet.

And today was great too. I got invited to go and teach a class on Performance Poetry at Royal High School in Simi today and the class went splendidly. The students are getting for the High School  'Poetry Out Loud' competition, which could eventually take them nationally if they win, so it was great to be a part of that. And then tonight I went with some friends from The Read to The Cobalt Cafe in Canoga Park and performed there on the open mic as well. That show went well too and a number of people seemed really interested in my stuff. I am so psyched about my poetry career actually progressing more and more.



PS. On a completely unrelated and disjointed topic, Heath Ledger died today. Just thought I would add to the general consensus of people posting about it. I am only really sad that he is not going to be able to reprise his role as the Joker at any later date now. Also, I had the biggest crush on him for awhile. That is all.

It's Christmas Eve and I haven't been able to talk to the one person I want to, let alone see them, for this holiday. No returned calls or texts......

I have been up since about 3PM yesterday now, been working on homemade christmas gifts all night, because I am poor beyond belief and can't afford to buy anyone anything.

I am so so so tired right now, but I have to have dinner and desert with family, and then I may be going out with a few friends to see Sweeney Todd tonight, if i can somehow find the money for it. If not, I will be here, alone, depressed, and probably with insomnia again.

I hate christmas with a passion right now.

I thought I was tired earlier. I told myself that I was going to come home from work and sleep. Now almost five hours later I am still wide awake, pumping some happy synth pop, and I just made myself a cranberry and vodka to try and tire me out.  Sadly it isn't working yet.

Anyways, my vacation away from work over last week was awesome and highly enjoyable, I much appreciatted the downtime because it appears I won't get it again for quite some time.  Not that I am complaining much because I need the money if I plan to move into an apartment in about two months time.  Wow, two months is all I have to try and get some money saved away for emergencies and hopefully a vehicle of some sort.  Kind of scary to think about, ya know? I have about $100 in my bank right now, I still have about $300 in tax refunds coming in at some point, and that is it until I get paid again in a week and a half.  My checks every two weeks right now are about $400 and my rent that I have to pay my grandparents each month is about $200....so I need to cut down my spending so that I can keep as much of extra $600 each month in my bank instead of in someone else's pockets.

I need a sidejob of some sorts.....anybody need any meaningless labor done or tedious paperwork sorted?  Yardwork done? Babysitting? Need a clean and considerate hooker? I need the money, you name it I will perform.....damn, that sounds really sad....oh well.

I do so love my days off of work. I work and work and work and then I get weeks like this where I suddenly have three days in a row off and it just feels amazing.  Too bad I have to work again on Saturday, but nothing lasts forever.

So, my D&D game started yesterday and the group of people that showed up are really cool. My friends from the area and my previous group showed to join, but so also did two guys that I talked about D&D with while working one day and invited t come and check it out. They are pretty cool dudes and we are glad to have them. Sadly though two of my coworkers that expressed interest and said that they were going to be there didn't show up, but that is there loss and not mine.  Still, even though the group is made of a good set of players, I do fear for them.  They are a barbarian, a warblade, a cleric, and a ninja.....what in the nine hells are they supposed to do with any sort of magical threat, eh?  Let's hope they think of something.....

Anyways, now I will turn away from my nerdy ramblings and onto a more important subject: moving.  I am currently in the planning stage (beginning of it really) of looking for a place to move to starting towards the end of this summer (when I should hopefully have a car by and some money saved away) and also for people to live with.  A couple of friends of mine have already been talking with me about maybe living together and I also wanted to see who else is out there that may be considering the same thing.  I want to move into either a semi-large apartment or a smallish house with a couple of people that I know and enjoy the company of. I used to live with people I didn't really know and in the end it didn't work out so well.  Though it is still some time off I like to plan ahead and have time to evaluate my options on a decision for something as big as this.  Hmm.....

PS. I got my paycheck today and it was about $80 more than I expected it to be, so I am in even more of a good mood than I have been.  *dances in giddy circles*