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Growing Older

  • Oct. 6th, 2008 at 9:08 PM
Artist

Because I'm not Growing Up, I'm already too tall.

 

It has been too long and an update is definitely needed. So, things have going absolutely marvelously recently. I was able to take care of the whole giant utilities bill that I got shafted with a week and a half ago and I have been getting by well, and will continue to do so until my next pay check comes in next week.  So financially things are looking up and that makes me very happy. Things are going to be getting even better soon too, as [info]lilium_vitiate should be moving in by the end of the week or early next week at the latest (knock on wood) and that will help cut down the cost of the room quite a bit between the two of us. That and us living together is going to be amazing anyways...

In other news, my 21st birthday was this weekend and it was quite an amazing weekend (and in this sense I consider my weekend to have lasted from Wednesday night to about two hours ago). It all started Wednesday night with Her showing up here earlier in the week than she usually does. Thursday was work, followed by a night of relaxing at home (couldn't make it out to Perversion this week, but we should next week) and then Friday was work again (I haven't minded work so much recently, been working on Civilization Revolution stuff recently). After work, came home to Her again (which I absolutely love doing. I don't think I will ever get tired of it.) and made dinner before heading out to a great low key party where it started raining just minutes after midnight for my birthday (it was amazing). There was much fun to be had at the party and I had wonderful birthday beginning. For the day part of Saturday we simply slept in, hung out, I made dinner again (served with the first legal drink I bought, a great bottle of White Zinfandel) and we watched Across the Universe before heading to Rocky. That night was mine and [info]theteabegreen 's  year anniversary on cast, and we performed together and had a good ol' time (which consisted of a number of people making or buying me drinks throughout the night). I performed slightly intoxicated and I didn't miss any cues, screw up any blocking, or fuck up in any noticeable way; it was a good show. After getting home after the show, We slept in till very late on Sunday, wasting most of the day in bed (which I cannot complain about in the slightest) before heading out to Clue rehearsal at the Nuart. It went well, the show looks good, and there was much snogging to be had in the back rows while not on stage (mainly by Us, no one else seemed to find it appropriate snogging time). Today was work again (man, why is this game still so fucked and already out in stores?) and then coming home to Her (still amazing) and taking a slight nap before making dinner for Her, Her family (which I invited over for dinner tonight a) to show them that I am a good guy and that I will take of her and b) because we have all never had a chance to sit and dine together). Dinner went very well, even if I was a ball of nerves the entire time (apparently it was cute and endearing).

Now, I sit here after seeing them all off, missing Her, revelling in the memories of this weekend, and wishing the We were living together already.  It's funny, it has only been a couple of days, but I actually do feel older since my birthday. Not that is a bad thing, just...noticeable.  I wonder what it means?

We Are Ours

  • Sep. 5th, 2008 at 8:29 AM
I _____ You

I am the luckiest guy in the world.

Last night was the best night of my life.

 

 

....This is really happening.

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Belong

  • Jul. 25th, 2008 at 3:03 AM
I _____ You
I belong.

In all senses of the word.

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Feb. 12th, 2008

  • 4:30 AM
Katamari
Running into people while going out to get a bite to eat is a great coincidence. Then spending four hours with them just shooting the shit and playing pool and smoking far too many cigarettes is even better.

It is nights like these that I really really enjoy my life.

Bah Humbug

  • Dec. 24th, 2007 at 6:58 PM
Punch Yourself
It's Christmas Eve and I haven't been able to talk to the one person I want to, let alone see them, for this holiday. No returned calls or texts......

I have been up since about 3PM yesterday now, been working on homemade christmas gifts all night, because I am poor beyond belief and can't afford to buy anyone anything.

I am so so so tired right now, but I have to have dinner and desert with family, and then I may be going out with a few friends to see Sweeney Todd tonight, if i can somehow find the money for it. If not, I will be here, alone, depressed, and probably with insomnia again.

I hate christmas with a passion right now.

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Claimed

  • Dec. 14th, 2007 at 4:58 AM
Shoes
First off:

I CLAIM GINA GERSHON:


(For those of you not on Sins cast, don't worry about it)

Secondly, I had the most amazing night tonight. Cooked a number of times today, had amazing conversations, and well the night was...well....the best ever.

I am happy.

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.........

  • Dec. 9th, 2007 at 4:40 AM
Punch Yourself
Sometimes I just really need someone to cuddle with.

The last couple of weeks I have been coming home after Rocky just completely drained and depressed as all hell. I don't really know why, because I have fun at the show, but afterwards I am just......lonely and way...depressed.

I wish I had someone here to cuddle with right now, though I don't know how much it would help.

Meme-Licious

  • Dec. 8th, 2007 at 3:03 AM
Katamari
Since this journal wasn't started until May of this year, I will go from then.

May: Well, this is it, the first update if my brand new livejournal....

June: Oh, Rocky was much better this week than the previous two....

July: I need a soundboard of my own....

August: I just watched five hours of Heroes uninterrupted on my computer....

September: I passed my preliminary audition for Brad....

October: I am still in shock that I passed my audition, that I was voted on cast....

November: I love cooking for other people....

December: I spent a sleepless night cleaning my entire room....

On another note, I realized just how little I actually post and I am going to work on changing that to a more frequent interval for posting.

Also, tonight was amazing...... *content*

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Accomplishment

  • Dec. 7th, 2007 at 7:28 PM
Chocobo
So, after much neglect to LJ in the passing weeks and a long amount of sitting here catching up on it all, I return again to post something meaningless and self-congratulating.

I spent a sleepless night last night cleaning my entire room (except the closet, 'cause it ain't my shit in there). The floor is clean and visible, books are arranged, clothes either folded and hung or in the hamper, and a new area created and cleaned for my TV which I will most likely bring over from my grandparents on Sunday or early next week. I felt productive afterwards and so, being the masochist I am, I decided I would do a pencil portrait of Pepper for her as a gift. No one ever told me how fucking hard it is to try and draw freckles. I mean really......four hours later and they still didn't look right. By that early hour in the morning I realized I was doing more harm to the drawing than good with my constant attention to it, so I let sleep claim me. And claim me it did, I haven't slept like that in awhile, good gollies. Sleeping in a haze of accomplishment and artistic vision is an amazing sleep indeed.

So, now it is today. I woke late in the day, completely refreshed. I have been catching up n random shit, designing a very thrilling (if I do say so myself) Star Wars RPG campaign (yes, I am that kind of nerd) and basically loving the clean place that is my room. That and tomorrow I get latkes, things are going well for me.

Anyways, Pepper should be here soon and then we are off to Liz Stockton's place for a night of Sweeney Todd, pies of all kinds, and general musical theater loving revelry.

Mastering Dungeons and Manualing Monsters for over a decade,
~Adam Poisal

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Cooking

  • Nov. 9th, 2007 at 3:51 AM
Artist
I love cooking for other people. I just do. I love it when the thing I am cooking comes out just right and everyone loves, or when it comes out a little bit off and they still love it. Not so much when I screw up horribly, unless of course they still love it.

I guess this comes from me always having to cook for myself growing up.  You see, I am allergic to onions. And I am 50% Sicilian.  I know, what the fuck is up with that? But, because of sad ironic twist of genetics, I became a pretty good cook because of it, having to make my own food and all when around family.

It makes me miss living a minute away from a Trader Joe's though....

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Oct. 24th, 2007

  • 5:48 AM
God
You know, I should probably be sleeping right now, but I am not.....oh well.

Anyways, hmm, what to say. I didn't come here and start typing with something already on my mind that I wanted to say like I usually do, so what you are getting is what is coming out of me in this semi-conscious state of no sleep that I am in at the moment. Enjoy.

I freaking love performing: poetry, acting, dancing, just being random in front of a group of strangers...I just love it all.  I get such a rush when I am out there in front of people, being over the top and making them laugh, smile, think, perceive. That is where I feel the most alive, in front of people being myself and more.

Despite my ease at being in front of a crowd, I am rather self-conscious about my looks. I know that many people have told me that I am cute, handsome, pretty, whatever, but I can never really believe it. I don't really know what they see in me...I am just me, an average boy with a crazy military past and a couple bucks to my name. I am rail thin, mop headed, and as some would put it: 'way too tall'. I don't know what they see in me,but I'm not really going to argue it, I just don't understand it.

I feel like I am living in a dream sometimes, like this is a crazy facade I create while I sleep. It all seems so amazing sometimes, this life that I am living, that I just can't believe that it is actually happening to me. When I am surrounded by friends and loved ones I can't but think that maybe I am just imagining it all, that maybe they are all figments created by me so that I am not so lonely all the time.  I am so thankful for everyone in my life right now that I can't seem to bring myself around to actually believing that it is happening sometimes, that they are actually my friends and I am actually theirs.  I guess this is what happens when a loner kid finally finds a group to be a member of.

At the same time though, I feel like I am exactly where I need to be with my life right now, like this is my time, my place, and my life to be living. I feel so alive sometimes that I can't help but to know that this is where I am supposed to be. It all just feels so right. I can't explain it any better than that....

More to come later maybe if I can't get any sleep.....

~Adam

Oct. 22nd, 2007

  • 1:26 AM
Rock
I have had the most amazing weekend...ever.



What Would You Do For a Golden Ticket?
~Adam

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Last Night

  • Oct. 14th, 2007 at 3:00 PM
Artist
I made a decision. I decided not to decided. I think it worked out for the best.

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Riding the Wave

  • Oct. 12th, 2007 at 10:22 PM
Artist
"I am a leaf on the wind, watch me soar."

Life seems to be moving at a  breakneck speed right now, with something new and exciting coming at me nearly every single day. And I am thoroughly enjoying it.  This isn't like the other times when things have gotten started and kept piling up, those times when I felt like I was going to be crushed by the weight of them all. No, this feels right, this feels really really good and I am happy to being living every single moment of it.  First there was me starting my new job, which has been going great, then there came my Rocky audition, which went well great as well, which also brought along Clue, again great and so much fun, and now I am actually on Sins and I am going to be stepping up right into the primary Brad position. Going right into primary scares me a little bit, leaves a nervous set of butterflies in my stomach, but at the same time I am so excited to be doing it, to be a part of cast, and be performing so often, I can't wait.  And now we are going right into the busiest season of the year, when all of the major holidays happen, when everything seems to peak, and I am loving it.  I am going to be a part of the Tim Burton preshow and I want to do more with whatever comes next.  And on top of it all, I went on the most amazing date yesterday and things are absolutely.....fitting right now. I feel like I am doing what I should be doing right now. It feels amazing.

The Eye in the Calm of your Storm,
~Adam Poisal

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The Cold Touch of Kindness

  • Jun. 19th, 2007 at 3:07 AM
Artist
So, I gave blood again today, like I do every two months (well except for the last couple, cause I was sick off and on and I couldn't).  I did the ALYX donation for the first time though this time around.  That's where they take twice the amount of red blood cells from your body, but they separate out all of the plasma while doing it so they can put it back into you. Which has my plasma in one of the little donation bags for like ten minutes during each of the five parts, cooling to room temperature before being put back into my body....which just feels fucking weird as all get out.

It start in your arm, this slow numbing and chill that runs through your veins, up into your shoulder and down into you fingertips. From there it goes into your chest and then all over the rest of your body,  It was crazy feeling my body get chilled like that from the inside out, the cold radiating from inside my veins as it moves through my body.  I must say that the experience was well worth the crappy needle stabbing perpetrated by the new nurse against my arm, it is a feeling I won't forget for a long time. And also one I won't get to experience again for awhile either, since I can only donate like that every 4 months instead of every 2.

Longer if I get a tattoo done soon like I want to....

Plus I got cookies for donating, so it was totally worth it for that.

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Interesting

  • Jun. 17th, 2007 at 11:28 PM
Artist
Well, things are getting better now.  I feel like I have gotten some of my wonderfully delicious metaphorical pie back after losing it for awhile. And it makes me appreciate it all the more.

Craziest shit happened today though. I was working down in the music section, walking around pretending to actually be working, when this guy with a semi-familiar face walks up to me and is like, "I saw you perform some poetry at Moorpark before. (Which was like 6 months ago.) I really liked you voice and I am working on this movie right now and I want you to be the voice over for a part in it." 

So, yeah, I am interested in it. He told me a little about the project (something about Nun-ploitation, which I am so down for) and he took my contact info, so maybe something will happen with it.

Still, randomest shit ever.

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Crazy Little Thing Called

  • Jun. 10th, 2007 at 11:47 PM
Artist
There are those moments in life when you just go, "Oh, now I get it, how couldn't I have noticed it before?" and then slap yourself on the forehead for being so oblivious to what was happening.  I had one of those last night, and let me tell you that when they involve the matters of the heart they sting that much more.  I feel incredibly stupid because of it and pretty downtrodden, and well the hectic bullshit of work today didn't help very much either.  So I think I am going to go and fall into a novel for the night and drink what I can find and hope that this mood passes soon.

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Bachelor

  • Jun. 3rd, 2007 at 1:07 PM
Katamari
Ok, Rocky was much better this week than the previous two, I must say that. It made me happy and didn't kill my throat as much as when there is a dead audience and I scream all the louder to compensate for the laziness of all the lazy people. That being said, I move onto another topic almost completely unrelated to this one.

I thought it would be great to date around, to meet people, have fun, and generally have copious amounts of sex without commitment, and well it has been. Don't get me wrong, I have thoroughly enjoyed my time as a fast living bachelor living the good life, but I still have that hungering want for something more.  With who, I am still figuring out and how it may work, I don't know yet, but I know that maybe sometime soon I will try this settling down thing again and see where it gets me.

Until then I will continue with my glorious bachelors life, searching for something more in life but never really caring if I find it....

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Older....

  • May. 30th, 2007 at 6:47 AM
Artist
It is on nights (mornings) like this that I hate to be alone.

My insomnia kept me awake all night again and so here I sit at almost 7 in the morning typing, waiting to leave for a meeting at work at 8 AM.  It doesn't help that I sat here alone all night, typing away random thoughts and failed poems, drawing random sketches, and generally browsing the vast space of the internet while listening to my current playlist almost 15 times now.

I wish I had someone to share nights like this with. Someone to stay up with chatting random thoughts away, watching old dvds, or simply just snuggling up while trying desperately to fall asleep only to end up watching the sunrise in each other's arms.

I watched the sunrise by myself this morning. It was a lonely sight, but beautiful nonetheless.  I used to watch the sunrise much more often, when I was awake each day for it back while I was still in high school.  I appreciated it more back then, but it was still just as lonely.

It was a weird sensation, but I actually felt myself getting older tonight.  Sitting here, 8 hours after getting home from work last night, I actually feel noticeably older than I did yesterday.  I am older I know, but I have never felt older before. I am a simple 4 months from no longer being a teenager anymore, from becoming an adult, and yet I still feel so young....yet old at the same time.

I should sleep when I get home from my meeting....

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Wanting Love

  • May. 18th, 2007 at 12:07 AM
Artist
I often ask myself what I am looking for in love and I dig deep into myself to discover the answer but I can never get deep enough to discover the truth. Each time I go I discover contradictions in my thoughts, a want for one thing but also the longing for something else.  Like, on one hand I want to be single and explore, enjoy the company of each person that catches my eye and see what exactly the wide world has to offer. But on the other hand I long to settle down, wake up each morning with the same person in my arms and go to bed each night knowing I am safe and not alone. I think that maybe there is someone out there for me, but how will I ever know if I never settle down and find out?

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