aggravatedBecause I'm not Growing Up, I'm already too tall.
It has been too long and an update is definitely needed. So, things have going absolutely marvelously recently. I was able to take care of the whole giant utilities bill that I got shafted with a week and a half ago and I have been getting by well, and will continue to do so until my next pay check comes in next week. So financially things are looking up and that makes me very happy. Things are going to be getting even better soon too, as ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
lilium_vitiate should be moving in by the end of the week or early next week at the latest (knock on wood) and that will help cut down the cost of the room quite a bit between the two of us. That and us living together is going to be amazing anyways...
In other news, my 21st birthday was this weekend and it was quite an amazing weekend (and in this sense I consider my weekend to have lasted from Wednesday night to about two hours ago). It all started Wednesday night with Her showing up here earlier in the week than she usually does. Thursday was work, followed by a night of relaxing at home (couldn't make it out to Perversion this week, but we should next week) and then Friday was work again (I haven't minded work so much recently, been working on Civilization Revolution stuff recently). After work, came home to Her again (which I absolutely love doing. I don't think I will ever get tired of it.) and made dinner before heading out to a great low key party where it started raining just minutes after midnight for my birthday (it was amazing). There was much fun to be had at the party and I had wonderful birthday beginning. For the day part of Saturday we simply slept in, hung out, I made dinner again (served with the first legal drink I bought, a great bottle of White Zinfandel) and we watched Across the Universe before heading to Rocky. That night was mine and theteabegreen 's year anniversary on cast, and we performed together and had a good ol' time (which consisted of a number of people making or buying me drinks throughout the night). I performed slightly intoxicated and I didn't miss any cues, screw up any blocking, or fuck up in any noticeable way; it was a good show. After getting home after the show, We slept in till very late on Sunday, wasting most of the day in bed (which I cannot complain about in the slightest) before heading out to Clue rehearsal at the Nuart. It went well, the show looks good, and there was much snogging to be had in the back rows while not on stage (mainly by Us, no one else seemed to find it appropriate snogging time). Today was work again (man, why is this game still so fucked and already out in stores?) and then coming home to Her (still amazing) and taking a slight nap before making dinner for Her, Her family (which I invited over for dinner tonight a) to show them that I am a good guy and that I will take of her and b) because we have all never had a chance to sit and dine together). Dinner went very well, even if I was a ball of nerves the entire time (apparently it was cute and endearing).
Now, I sit here after seeing them all off, missing Her, revelling in the memories of this weekend, and wishing the We were living together already. It's funny, it has only been a couple of days, but I actually do feel older since my birthday. Not that is a bad thing, just...noticeable. I wonder what it means?
- Location:The Nook
- Mood:
happy
Because it looks like it will be quite interesting to see : My Johari Window
Fill them out and give me some insight into me.- Mood: amused
In all senses of the word.
- Mood: loved
- Location:couch
- Mood:
accomplished
It is nights like these that I really really enjoy my life.
- Mood: happy
Anyways, here I am, with a new found want and drive to post more often and with more content.....
Wow, that was fulfilling.
Ok, so my post last night was probably more than a little melodramatic and depressing, but you know what? I thought about deleting, I really did, but I decided against it. You know why? Because if I leave it there it will remind me how I get when I am alone and I drink and I write....and if that is all it takes to keep from doing it again, then I will gladly take the drunken humiliation that comes with it.
Another good thing that came out of my depressing stupor that was last night was this morning. I awoke feeling better than I have in awhile and I had a want to be productive which I don't usually have, especially in the mornings. I got up, picked up my pencils and giant art board and pads and I sketched. I drew and I drew and I drew. And it felt great. Since I have started taking art classes I haven't had the real desire to sit down and draw outside of them, where I have to sit down and draw for hours on end. But today I did, and it felt great to do it again of my own free will. Now if I only had a scanner so I could actually show it people and put it on my deviantart.
On another note, I feel as though I should be looking for somewhere new to live soon. Neither Zhani or his parents have said as much to me, but his brother just moved back from the Army and this used to be his room and I don't know how long I am going to be able to occupy it and he the couch downstairs. I mean, he is family and I am just....well, I am the guy they like enough to let live here. So, I really to get my shit together and get some money together because I don't know how long I am going to be where I am and I honestly have no clue where I would go if I wasn't here.....
Well, that is enough for one night and the guys are going to be over in about 8 hours for our weekly Star Wars game, so I need to get some sleep.
From This Side of the Monitor,
~Adam
- Mood: accomplished
Also, in March I am being paid to perform poetry at a Literature Festival in Moorpark for two hours, which would mean that I would now be an officially paid performing poet.
And today was great too. I got invited to go and teach a class on Performance Poetry at Royal High School in Simi today and the class went splendidly. The students are getting for the High School 'Poetry Out Loud' competition, which could eventually take them nationally if they win, so it was great to be a part of that. And then tonight I went with some friends from The Read to The Cobalt Cafe in Canoga Park and performed there on the open mic as well. That show went well too and a number of people seemed really interested in my stuff. I am so psyched about my poetry career actually progressing more and more.
PS. On a completely unrelated and disjointed topic, Heath Ledger died today. Just thought I would add to the general consensus of people posting about it. I am only really sad that he is not going to be able to reprise his role as the Joker at any later date now. Also, I had the biggest crush on him for awhile. That is all.
- Mood: accomplished
I have been up since about 3PM yesterday now, been working on homemade christmas gifts all night, because I am poor beyond belief and can't afford to buy anyone anything.
I am so so so tired right now, but I have to have dinner and desert with family, and then I may be going out with a few friends to see Sweeney Todd tonight, if i can somehow find the money for it. If not, I will be here, alone, depressed, and probably with insomnia again.
I hate christmas with a passion right now.
- Mood:
depressed
Also, turned in an application today, got an interview on Tuesday at, get this, a sex store. It looks like a really fun job, and well, I am primarily a nocturnal creature anyways.....so, if this job comes to fruition, I should be able to get some good discounts on any products that anyone may need....hehehe.
- Mood: bored
- Music:Queer as Folk, Season 3 Episode 4
I CLAIM GINA GERSHON:
(For those of you not on Sins cast, don't worry about it)
Secondly, I had the most amazing night tonight. Cooked a number of times today, had amazing conversations, and well the night was...well....the best ever.
I am happy.
- Mood: happy
I spent a sleepless night last night cleaning my entire room (except the closet, 'cause it ain't my shit in there). The floor is clean and visible, books are arranged, clothes either folded and hung or in the hamper, and a new area created and cleaned for my TV which I will most likely bring over from my grandparents on Sunday or early next week. I felt productive afterwards and so, being the masochist I am, I decided I would do a pencil portrait of Pepper for her as a gift. No one ever told me how fucking hard it is to try and draw freckles. I mean really......four hours later and they still didn't look right. By that early hour in the morning I realized I was doing more harm to the drawing than good with my constant attention to it, so I let sleep claim me. And claim me it did, I haven't slept like that in awhile, good gollies. Sleeping in a haze of accomplishment and artistic vision is an amazing sleep indeed.
So, now it is today. I woke late in the day, completely refreshed. I have been catching up n random shit, designing a very thrilling (if I do say so myself) Star Wars RPG campaign (yes, I am that kind of nerd) and basically loving the clean place that is my room. That and tomorrow I get latkes, things are going well for me.
Anyways, Pepper should be here soon and then we are off to Liz Stockton's place for a night of Sweeney Todd, pies of all kinds, and general musical theater loving revelry.
Mastering Dungeons and Manualing Monsters for over a decade,
~Adam Poisal
- Mood: hopeful
- Music:Duel of Fates - Episode 1 Soundtrack
I had to go to Moorpark College to register for classes next semester, two art classes with lots of artwork needing to be done in them and an english class. I wanted to get into the creative writing class, but I have yet to complete the prereq apparently, so only those three next semester, with probably some theater stuff in the mix as well when I see what is on the bills for next semester. Well, that took the whole of like half an hour, so I had like four hours of just sitting around campus until the poetry workshop I had later in the day on campus and it was around noon so I wandered to get some food. Munched on Bugles and Animal Cookies, finished some poems, and then grabbed a couple of bucks in quarters and spent much time on Metal Slug 3. Oh how I love that game. At around two I finally look up from the game to see a poster about four feet to my left, advertising none other than Nathan Fillion (Malcolm Reynolds...'Firefly', 'Serenity') being on campus this very day to have a Q&A session with students in the theater. And it was in a half an hour. Wrapping up my killing spree on Metal Slug I rushed across campus with time to find a good seat for the session.
Nathan Fillion is an awesome guy. Well spoken, really straight forward, and quite witty, the Question and Answer session was a great experience: from hearing funny tales about Joss Whedon, Tom Hanks, and Christopher Walken, to hearing more about how the business of films works, and about acting and life in general. It lasted for a bit over an hour and then I was off to my poetry workshop where we talked all about the workshop for next semester. We made the workshop and our open mic events a lot more popular this semester and we plan on doing even more next semester. And I am going to start taking a bigger role in it all. Starting with the second open mic of next semester I am going to be the host of each of the Reads, as well as one of the key people in putting together each of the events. It feels great to have helped build this workshop into something so big and still growing. And even better is that for that first show of the semester (the one I am not hosting) I am going to be one of the featured poets for the event, meaning I actually get to do a full set for everyone, like 15-20 minutes of poetry for everyone. I am stoked.
EDIT:
In 2007, 
trigger_poisal resolves to...
trigger_poisal resolves to...Cut down on my roleplaying.
Go to the dungeons every month.
Cut down to ten rpgs a day.
Backup my rant regularly.
Drink four glasses of eberron every day.
Learn to play the techno.
Go to the dungeons every month.
Cut down to ten rpgs a day.
Backup my rant regularly.
Drink four glasses of eberron every day.
Learn to play the techno.
Some of them are oddly worded (like drinking Eberron [drink a whole campaign setting?]) and #1 & 3 are kind of repetitive, but I think I need to remind myself twice to cut down sometimes.
EDIT 2: I can't figure out how to lessen the length of that blank spot before the embedded object....I just don't know.....sorry.
- Mood:
geeky - Music:The Shins
I guess this comes from me always having to cook for myself growing up. You see, I am allergic to onions. And I am 50% Sicilian. I know, what the fuck is up with that? But, because of sad ironic twist of genetics, I became a pretty good cook because of it, having to make my own food and all when around family.
It makes me miss living a minute away from a Trader Joe's though....
- Mood:
bouncy
Anyways, hmm, what to say. I didn't come here and start typing with something already on my mind that I wanted to say like I usually do, so what you are getting is what is coming out of me in this semi-conscious state of no sleep that I am in at the moment. Enjoy.
I freaking love performing: poetry, acting, dancing, just being random in front of a group of strangers...I just love it all. I get such a rush when I am out there in front of people, being over the top and making them laugh, smile, think, perceive. That is where I feel the most alive, in front of people being myself and more.
Despite my ease at being in front of a crowd, I am rather self-conscious about my looks. I know that many people have told me that I am cute, handsome, pretty, whatever, but I can never really believe it. I don't really know what they see in me...I am just me, an average boy with a crazy military past and a couple bucks to my name. I am rail thin, mop headed, and as some would put it: 'way too tall'. I don't know what they see in me,but I'm not really going to argue it, I just don't understand it.
I feel like I am living in a dream sometimes, like this is a crazy facade I create while I sleep. It all seems so amazing sometimes, this life that I am living, that I just can't believe that it is actually happening to me. When I am surrounded by friends and loved ones I can't but think that maybe I am just imagining it all, that maybe they are all figments created by me so that I am not so lonely all the time. I am so thankful for everyone in my life right now that I can't seem to bring myself around to actually believing that it is happening sometimes, that they are actually my friends and I am actually theirs. I guess this is what happens when a loner kid finally finds a group to be a member of.
At the same time though, I feel like I am exactly where I need to be with my life right now, like this is my time, my place, and my life to be living. I feel so alive sometimes that I can't help but to know that this is where I am supposed to be. It all just feels so right. I can't explain it any better than that....
More to come later maybe if I can't get any sleep.....
~Adam
- Mood:
monk - Music:The Loves - She'll Break Your Heart........Again
What Would You Do For a Golden Ticket?
~Adam
- Mood: loved
- Music:Addicted to Bass - Puretone
Life seems to be moving at a breakneck speed right now, with something new and exciting coming at me nearly every single day. And I am thoroughly enjoying it. This isn't like the other times when things have gotten started and kept piling up, those times when I felt like I was going to be crushed by the weight of them all. No, this feels right, this feels really really good and I am happy to being living every single moment of it. First there was me starting my new job, which has been going great, then there came my Rocky audition, which went well great as well, which also brought along Clue, again great and so much fun, and now I am actually on Sins and I am going to be stepping up right into the primary Brad position. Going right into primary scares me a little bit, leaves a nervous set of butterflies in my stomach, but at the same time I am so excited to be doing it, to be a part of cast, and be performing so often, I can't wait. And now we are going right into the busiest season of the year, when all of the major holidays happen, when everything seems to peak, and I am loving it. I am going to be a part of the Tim Burton preshow and I want to do more with whatever comes next. And on top of it all, I went on the most amazing date yesterday and things are absolutely.....fitting right now. I feel like I am doing what I should be doing right now. It feels amazing.
The Eye in the Calm of your Storm,
~Adam Poisal
- Mood: Serene
Anyways, yeah, excited, can't articulate.....four weeks till I do my audition stage show. September 29th, the weekend before my birthday, I am so excited, can't way. Got four weeks to work on it all and make it so I don't suck.
Well, I am going to actually try and sleep and such, since I didn't get any last night.
The Bacon in your BLT,
~Adam Poisal
(I've been reading a lot of SInfest.net and I have grown attached to the random sign off lines, so I am going to do my own too.)
- Mood: excited
That and I tied and untied cherry stems in my mouth around a hundred times on the drive home, I still got the skills.
- Mood: cheerful
- Music:Desperate Guys - the faint
I get the strongest feeling that most of the people at Rocky really don't like me. Especially on nights like tonight at Party Monster, where I try and conversate with the Rocky group and I get the most negative vibes towards me. People would switch to other groups, or simply make excuses to leave, everytime that I tried to joy in a conversation. I felt radioactive or something. I felt it at Laser Tag last weekend as well, like only one or two people actually wanted me to be there and all the rest would have been perfectly happy if I weren't. And I know that it isn't just some crazy feeling that I am having, I know that people really just don't like me and I have no clue why.
A couple of weeks ago I was told by Zack and Security Drew that I am getting to be known as Creepy Adam.....and it hurt a lot to know that. I don't know what I did to deserve it or what I am now doing to perpetuate it, but apparently it is spreading. I know that some people think that I am trying to be friends with them to try and sleep with their friends, or that I am trying to be friends with them because I think I can get something from them. I have no clue why anyone thinks these things about me, it isn't something I could even see myself doing or being. I really don't know why I have garnered this kind of reputation but it is really beginning to hurt a lot. People seem to be ignoring me at every turn and I feel very alone when I am around them, a group of people that I really like and care for, and they couldn't care less about me.
The vibes just keep getting worse and it is really beginning to get me down, so I am thinking of going on hiatus from Rocky after this weekend. As much as I love the show and the atmosphere and most everything about it all, everytime I am there it is getting me depressed, because no one gives shit that I am there. I am going to be at Grindhouse night tomorrow because I said I would be, and I am still doing tech for Rainbow Carnage, but I don't know when Sins will be in weekly schedule again.
- Location:Home
- Mood: crushed
- Music:Sugar Daddy - Hedwig and the Angry Inch
Profile
- trigger_poisal
- Lilith's Samael
- ID-iology
Syndicate
